It's been one of those days...

It's been one of those days. If I'm being honest, it's been one of those months. Ever since I got back from Europe, I feel completely off. This kind of feeling can only be fixed by writing.

It's been awhile since I've felt like this ... felt this awful enough to need to write.

I feel like I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing ... when it comes to work, friends, family, myself. It's one of those days when I don't feel like I have control over any thing in my life. I suppose it's a good lesson about control. I can't control every little thing in my life. But, it's leaving me grasping for any little thing to have control over.

I keep trying my absolute best and it's just not good enough. We all know perfection isn't real and can't be achieved ... but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try, right? I'm always trying and striving for perfection. I've always been desperate for perfection. I want to be the best daughter, the best employee, the best friend, the best person I can be.

And lately, I'm just coming up a little too short. And I can't stop beating myself up over it. I'm my own worst critic and quite possibly the harshest critic in the world.

Here's to hoping life really is just a roller coaster and I'll be on my way back up the hill soon.