Today

Max is in heaven. Today was even harder than I thought it would be. Saying goodbye to him before I left for school was heartbreaking. I would say goodbye, walk out the door, then turn right back around and go back to him and say one more last goodbye. I finally had enough strength to shut the door and leave and go to school. I said goodbye again last night, too. I talked to him and whispered in his ear so he could hear me. I told him how much I loved him and how much I appreciated him. I probably looked really silly laying in a dog bed talking to my dog through tears. Later that night, my mom asked me to hold him while she took Shelby outside. So, I put him on my bed for the last time and laid my head next to his. Then, he started to lick my face and my nose. Max hasn’t showed any affection ever since he got sick a few years ago. It made me want to break down and cry. It’s like he knew and he wanted to say goodbye to me. So, for one last moment I had my old Maxwell back. It made me feel so much better and gave me closure. 

There were a lot of tears today and probably a lot more tears to come. I hope one day I will be able to talk about him or even think about him without crying. I feel peaceful today knowing that he is out of pain. I feel peaceful that he is buried right next to my room. He can sleep next to me every night like he used to before he got sick. He’s never too far away.

It was a beautiful day today, otherwise. A gorgeous day for my angel to be welcomed into heaven. 

I love you, Max … more than anything. I will never forget you and I will miss you more and more each day. You’re so special, God just couldn’t wait to have you. We’ll all meet again one day. 

RIP Max <3 April 30th, 1994 - February 21st, 2011 <3